Thursday, January 18, 2007

This Nudie Sunbathing Must Stop!!!

Not many people knows this, but after the Spanish Civil War for Golf, El Generalísimo Francisco Franco make gift to Germany of southern half of Fuerteventura, one of the Islas Canarias, in order to thank the German people for all the help they gave to Spain in its cruzada. Fuerteventura is very beautiful place and very hot, but is just lots of sand and rocks, so it have no viable economic use escept as holiday homes for Nazis.

However, General Franco was not anticipating the change that happen to North Europeans when they come to the hot climate. He was especting, I think, that the Germans bring with them all their traditional virtues, such as the discipline, the lederhosen, the smoked Bavarian cheeses, and the bombing of small towns to smithereens, but instead, the powerful sun, it fry the brains of the normally self-restrained and cold-hearted Germans, so that they go completely mad and tear all of their clothes off and run around on the beaches like maniacs. Was dreadful, like Lord of the Flies, escept without Michael Flatley.

This shameless behaviour has continued to this very day, but as you can see from photo above, is not confined any more just to the Germans. Is also the Swedes and the Danes and the drunken English, and now also the filthy Catalans and hairy Basques get in on the act. Is really a big disgrace.

Just the other day, I was watching through my binoculars a big crowd of these naked holidaymakers playing volleyball on the beach. Every time one of them bent over to pick the ball up, I have to tell you this, I was nauseated to my gonads: I felt it was like they were mooning El Generalísimo himself, a terrible, terrible insult; almost as though they were sitting naked on his tomb and making a photocopy of their arse.

I am massively hurt and insulted by this behaviour. Well, two can play at that game, and Spanish are best insulters in the world, as is well-known. So I say this to these horrible, depraved animals: I spit on your pert, naked North European breasts and I massage it in with my hands; I micturate from a great height onto your taut brown smooth hairless bellies and I do not wash you afterwards; and I part your firm young suntanned North European buttocks and I shoot my children all over your tight throbbing hungry anus. Hah! How do you like that, you libertine atheist homosexual scum?! I bet that will make you think again about exposing your disgusting sexy bodies in my direction.

Hmm. Is strange. I feel much better already.


The Swearing Lady said...

Suntanned North Europeans? Surely you are having a larf.

gan ching said...

Even reading about it has made me all hot and bothered!

The Hangar Queen said...

Sounds grand.I've my ticket bought and I'm on my way.If you thought you were bothered before wait until I join in the naked volleyball larfs.

Sandra said...

I am troubled in my heart by this filth. What is the world coming to?

Manuel Estimulo said...


You are very lucky to be in cold Canada where everyone is forced to wear 15 layers of clothes even in bed. Was like that in Spain too, during El Generalisimo's time. Not because of cold, but because of proper sense of decorum and everyone understanding that sex is filthy disgusting.

Sandra said...

Ugh! It sounds revolting. Am very glad I am Old Maid.

ejh said...

It is good that Manuel takes it upon himself to investigate these things, so that the rest of us don't stumble upon them unawares.

/ me goes away to investigate prices of flights and decent binoculars

Bock the Robber said...

Well said Manuel. In Ireland also we are lately having this sex thing after the Catholics ran away to South America, and it's very frightening.