Friday, July 27, 2007

Ourselves Alone!

No, is not a picture of Manuel at last year's Irish Blog Awards (which I didn't not attend because of the weather and because I am bad loser: Fascists are used to winning things!). Is a picture of Danish Tour de France motocyclist Michael Rasmussen, who has been thrown out of the event for cheating by taking the performance-enhancing drugs (presumably Viagra) and for using motocycle. Even so, as you can see from the picture, he still came in Fourth overall in the Tour, because all other competitors had also been diqsqualified for similar behaviour, and two of the three who came ahead of him only did so because the rubbish scientists couldn't find out how they cheated! The winner, of course, will be Spanish and therefore did not cheat (see next Monday's post, which I have not written yet).

All of which, I think, is a profound philosophical metaphor for the state of the world today, and is why I have decided to make my blog a private one for only my most especial friends who share my fascist attitudes toward the world or who are devoted enough to Jesus to understand why it is important to keep the world at bay and find a sanctuary where we can let our hairs out and speak Truth about the powerless. Also, anyone who link to my blog is allowed in.

As you can imagine, during my short time of blogging, I have drawn my fair share of death threats: What blogger doesn't? I espect Kav, Bock, and Flesh Babe get people writing in every day who threaten to kill them or divide up their body pieces among their friends for indescribably sadistic fantasies involving chickens, biros, heavy weights, and the Dublin Port Tunnel (and rightly so, I hear you say), but when you have been an especial agent like I have, is important that you take these threats without pinch of salt. Just with vinegar and maybe olive oil. Is therefore my decision, even though I am retired and nobody know with any accuracy where I live, to take seriously recently emails I am receiving from persons with twisted atheist mental brain disease, who say they are intending to come to find me in order to feed my genitals to their dogs. I reply with bravado to them that my genitals will not keep their dogs going for very long, being so small, but they reply by sending me pictures of their dogs, which you can see here, so now I am taking them very seriously indeed.

For the time being, therefore, I will not be proselytizing to the ignorant and stupid about the joys of fascism and what a beautiful soul El Generalisimo was. Is a time for consolidating my base, for building a hardened cadre of disciplined, obedient counterenlightenment forces so that we can resist the putrid feculence of the modern world while I also use my especial agent contacts and skills to hunt down and excommunicate my would-be assassins. I hope you will stay with me through this trying period and together we can move forward to more dignified and less cheerful times.

Keep the faith!


The Hangar Queen said...

Alright so.Enjoy your holidays and bring us back some rock.
They do have rock in Portugal yes?

Manuel Estimulo said...

Hola Hangle Queen--

You misunderstand. I am not going anywhere! I am just drawing the curtains so no one else can see in at what we are doing.

savannah said...

thank you, mi amor! so why are we in the cloister?

Freshblade said...

Don't worry, Manuel. Your secret location is safe with us.

The Swearing Lady said...

Is no dog. Is mop.

Seriously, think of the nooks and crannies you could stick those pooches, Manuel!

PS: Take down the word verification now. Por favor?

Manuel Estimulo said...

Hola Savanarola--

I esplain in blog post. Do you not read them?! Do you just come here to look at pictures?

Hola Flesh Babe--

Is very few people who know it. I espect they too are on hit list. If you are interrogated, make something up, no matter where they put the hosepipe.

Hola Sweary Lady--

Is done!

gan ching said...

Poor you -death threats combined with all that hot weather must be very trying. I am remembering you in my prayers.

Manuel Estimulo said...

Hola Gan--

I love the hot weather! You forget that I am small man, so I lose body heat with ease (is why I retain moustache and bear in cold climates, in order to stay warm). Now that I have shave myself and have enclosed private terrace, I can espose myself to the elements very happily.

Freshblade said...

And may I say that we are all enjoying your exposure. Speaking as a professional, of course.