I's to the Right!!

Is Popular Fat Funnyman Fascist Benito Mussolini.

Is Dead Now. Not Funny At All.

Idiots and Morons

Idiots and morons have greater libidos than normal ordinary Christian men and women, who copulate only out of obligation to God. This is why there are so many more idiots and morons in the world than Christians.



Iglesias, Julio

Top Real Madrid goalkeeper and also love-song croonman who inherit his father's ability to get into ladies' knickers as a fortunate perk of his professional career (his father was a gynaecologist). Julio also inherit his father's handling ability. But whereas his father use anaesthetic gas to put ladies to sleep before fingering them, Julio just sing to them.


Immigration

The sincerest form of flattery.

A very complicated problem to which there is no easy solution now that inferior races have learned to read and how to use spanners. Is not so easy any more to separate the feckless races from the useful ones.


Imperialism

Another contentious subject. Some empires are good and do nothing but spread civilization, learning, language, and proper Christianity (e.g. Spanish, Roman empires), whereas others are estremely bad and spread nothing escept brabarism, television, Will & Grace, Protestantism, and diseases such as syphilis and tiffin (e.g. American, British, Roma empires). The best empires are those that leave foreigners abroad while bringing their natural resources back home (then exporting them to the colonies for the natives to purchase with their wages). This is just good old-fashioned mercantilism, as allowed by Jesus, as distinct from evil Jewish usury or Anglo-Saxon laissez-faire Manchester School capitalist hypocrisy.


Information

My father was a mind of useless information. It was from him that Hornolo and I receive all our lessons about sex. One time he took us to visit the barracks in Oviedo on a day trip, when he decide it was approapriate to tell us all the facts of life in the car journey there and back. This is what I remember I learn that day:

My father liked very much to fall asleep with his middle finger inside my mother’s asshole.

There is no sensation in life more pleasant than a soft pair of buttocks against your thighs.

The day you get married, say goodbye to blow jobs.

A lady has five principle sites for the orgasming: On her breasts, in her mouth, in her anus, in her vagina, and in her hand. However, there is also the more exotic places, such as between the buttocks, between the thighs, in the armpit, in the hair, in the navel, between the toes, and in her handbag.

My father was trying not to laugh as he say this, so I am not entirely sure even today if he was being serious or if he was remembering a cruel trick he had played on a lady in days gone by.

Or perhaps my mother had told him we had been rooting through her handbag and she wanted us to stop.


Inquisition, The Spanish

How quickly we forget the Inquisition’s pioneering role in organ donation!


Internet, The

Is a big disgrace!


Ireland, Lovely Pissing

Is my favourite foreign country, where I was living for a few years before retirement and where I sometimes sneak back for clean weekends. Is one of the few foreign countries that still knows how to do proper Catholic devotion; at least, up the country. I fly into Dublin airport then drive in any direction escept for towards Dublin itself, like any self-respecting Christian, although sometimes I end up in Dundalk, which is not so good. Wet, damp, minging rain and mud is one thing. Wet, damp, minging rain and mud and Dundalk is taking masochism to the point where it become sinful.


Irish People

The salt of the earth. And also the vinegar.


Irony

The invention of lazy minds. There are no ironies in life. The reason why our reproductive and excretory organs are so close together, for example, is that sex is dirty.


Islam

Is far too tolerant in my opinion.


Italians

All very well in their own country, but you wouldn’t want them next door (see also Jews, Filthy).

Photo above you can see is of old Italian fascist leader Benito Mussolini, who was once very very popular among Italians because of his no-nonsense racism, his populist rhetoric, and his cheap beer. After the surrender and running away of Italian forces in World War II, however, he became a much reviled figure of contempt and loathing, and any self-respecting member of the middle classes thought he should be hanged upside down from a lampost and beaten with clubs like a pinata until all his teeth fall out. Which is what happened. Escept when all the children gather up the teeth and bite into them, thinking they were sweets, it made their tongues bleed.

I have also a funny but true story about the Italians to demonstrate their fundamental character. Two years ago, an Italian spinster from Turin was kidnapping the six-year-old son of her neighbour to extort some money because she was too lazy to work herself. She send the boy round to his parents' house with a note attached to him which say "If you want to see your son alive again, I espect a lot of money." Of course, his mother go crazy mad Italian with desperation when she read the note. She write a reply begging for pity which say "How could one Italian do this to another? Is terrible." However, just as she was pinning the note to her son's lapel, she have a marvelous idea. She say to herself, "Although there is no other way for the blackmailer to get my note, I would be a fool to send my entire son back to her." So before she send him on his way, she cut off his ear and keep it.