More Proof of Spain's Racial Superiority!

Si, is brilliant Spanish bicyclist Carlos Sastre, who win France's Tour de France last week in Paris, France, putting the seal (and also the lion) on a fine summer for Spanish virility, which have seen the man-boy-child Rafa Nadal also lick all-comers at Wimbledon, England, and the genius national football team win Euro 2008 in Switzerland, Austria, by beating all inferior European races including those that didn't even qualify! Sastre, also, I have no need to reminding you, continues the tradition for Spain of being better than other countries, by succeeding Alberto Contador Velasco, who win last year's Tour de France, also, coincidentally, in Paris, France, as detailed in these very pages.

What does all this say about Spanish manhood, I hear you ask? Well, in the immortal words of Bruce Lee, it mean that the Spanish are no longer the sick man of Asia! It demonstrate definitively that in spite of their diminutive size and socialist government, Spanish men are able to transcend the limitations that restrict other European men (lack of piety, no sense of humour, pickled food, foot odour, and so on) and thereby demonstrate the intrinsic superiority of both Spanish lifestyle and culture and genetico-politico-historico-economico inheritance.

And all this in spite of the threats to our heritage, for I read in English liberal paper the Daily Telegraph that so-called "scientists" are saying that too much bicycling can lead to erectile dysfuction and a decline in sperms counting. The reason is, apparently, that the saddle restrict the blood flow around the Scrotal Sac, which is in Derbyshire, and the penis, resulting in numbness, restriction of blood flow, and no fun getting it up. Of course, the research is inconclusive, having been carried out on hamsters in wheels and gerbils on tiny bicycles, but there is a lesson to be learned and I will teach it you.

As ever, this is yet another problem for which we can blame Modernity. Thanks to the muddled thinking of Enlightenment thinkers which result in the so-called Scientific Method, the world has been flooded over the last 200 years with all sorts of new-fangled inventions and contraptions, such as penicillin, the television, toilet paper, the condom, mirrors, genetically modified food, helicopters, the DX4 T109 ruthenium oxide cryogenic temperature sensor, car parks, Ruth Madoc, and bingo. This has led to people getting feeble and weak and soft and decadent. Nature no longer weeds out the weak; thanks to "science," the inferior members of the species are able to survive burst appendixes, heart attacks, stroking, fatness, being American, and death. As a consequence, human genetic inheritance has been feebilized and our sperm are committing suicide rather than produce another lazy fat baby.

This is in stark contrast to the days when I was a young boy in the 1950s. How well I remember the cycle rides which the priests used to take all the young boys on around Teruel. Do you think we had saddles back in those days? Of course we did not. They had not been invented yet! Instead we used to sit on the upright post, which was inserted inside us by the priest using special holy lubrication before we set on our way. And believe me, he always was checking beforehand to ensure that we had plenty of blood flowing between our legs before we set off. And at the end of the day's cycling, he would also do a sperm count of every boy. Not one of us ever failed. And that was because of the fresh air, the harsh discipline, the lack of material comforts, and the devotion to piety of our superiors. You would not see that these days, not even on YouTube.

Is all a terrible shame, but as this summer has shown, Spain still have plenty of spunk in her yet!

Saint Bernadette Must be Spinning in Her Reliquary Like a Tumble Drier!!

Si, is an actual photograph, in colour, taken at the time, of Our Lady making an apparition in front of poor ignorant hallucinating French peasant girl Bernadette Soubirous in the grotto in Lourdes, France. Of course, Bernadette is no longer a poor ignorant hallucinating peasant girl these days, because she is dead; she is now SAINT Bernadette, which just go to show that, despite what people say, no matter how poor and ignorant you are, the Catholic Chruch is an equal opportunity employer. Any idiot can become a saint if they are pious enough, just like any idiot can become president of America if he is rich enough.

Our Lady make an apparition to Bernadette on 18 occasions in 1858. There wasn't much else going on back then and she was probly bored in Heaven, so she come down for a few chats in a nice quiet place where nobody else would see her and nobody would make a fuss. She talk to Bernadette about all sort of things; the weather, Real Madrid, knitting, lambs, the importance of washing down there, and so on. On the occasion when this photo was taken, she was telling Bernadette about the miracle of the loaves and fishes which Jesus perform to feed the 5,000 fans who had come to see his show. Bernadette was curious about this miracle and had just asked Our Lady, "How big was the fishes?" You can see Our Lady's reply in the photo.

I am mentioning all about the Lourdes today because this year is the 150th anniversary of Our Lady's appearances, and some people are wondering if she will do an anniversary show. Is not very likely, in my opinion, because everyone else in the original cast is either dead or have sold their souls to Satan. Either the organizers will have to resurrect Saint Bernadette or else they will have to find someone appropriate to stand in for her, such as Kylie Minogue, your one off Eastenders, or one of the Cheeky Girls (not Madonna, though, because that would be confusing and raise all sort of copyright issues).

I also mention Lourdes because of the terrible kerfuffle that is appearing in the papers about the miraculous appearance of €500,000 in the personal bank account of Father Raymond Zambelli, who is the priest in charge of the sanctuaries of Lourdes. Father Zambelli says that this money was just resting in his account, having being donated by a senile worshiper who have more money than sense, but nobody is believing him. They all think that he is covering up the truth that this is another miracle that will distract pilgrims in what is a very important year for the shrine. I realize that it is difficult for non-Catholics to understand, but another miracle at this time would be the last thing they need at Lourdes. It would be very bad for business indeed!

I was read in the papers that, in the past, the Chruch authorities have already disallowed the sale of bottles of wine with pictures of Our Lady of Lourdes on the front and also beer mats with pictures of the grotto on, which is I think a little escessive; I don't not think Our Lady ever frowned upon the Devoted having a few bottles of wine with their lunch. There is nothing in the Gospels about it, and her son was very partial to a drop. Is still possible, however, to get holy water at Lourdes, for €3 a litre, which is good value when you compare it to Lucozade Sport or Powerade, neither of which have the special properties of Lourdes water, such as minerals, holiness, and cryptosporidium. Also you can still get after-dinner mints made with water from the spring and stamped with the likeness of Our Lady on them, which make a nice present for a dinner party and can be also used to scare children.

Is espected this year that there will be 8 million visitors making pilgrimage to the shrine at Lourdes, each one of them spending around €100 on holy nick-nacks, so is important for the Chruch that this Zambelli miracle is not allowed to divert attention away from the first and original Lourdes miracle, even if a hormonal pubescent girl seeing things is nowhere near as impressive as the miraculous appearance of vast sums of money in a Catholic priest's personal bank account. But as Jesus esplain when he walk on the water: The Good Lord Move on Mysterious Waves!!

How Could They Tell?!

The False Pope Conspiracy Was Concocked When Ratzinger Was Still a Boy!!

Did you see the startling revelation in the news that the Vatican has discovered a fake priest who was trying to get in to listen to people's confessions? Is a big disgrace. But is also a toilet tissue of lies!

This is clearly a diversionary tactic story dreamed up by the conspirators assembled around the False Pope in order to pretend that security is so strong in the Vatican that even a false priest would be found out. So, we are meant to conclude, is inconceivable that a False Pope could get past the Swiss Guard. How ridiculous. They must take us for indolent drooling morons who just got out of bed at 3 o'clock this afternoon and missed the tram to daft school.

Of course, is common knowledge that the Catholic Chruch has confession sewn up like a pig in a basket. Confession is the lifeblood of the Chruch (with the esception of wine, of course, which is Christ's lifeblood and which play a more integral part to lubricating the Chruch's wheels). Long before the CIA or MFI came along, the Catholic Chruch had a network of information gathering the likes of which the world had seen (otherwise it would have not esisted). There is no way that this network would be allowed to be leopardized by infiltrators posing as religious officials. And with good reason. The Chruch knows full well that ordinary Catholics are gullible idiots who will cough the beans the moment they see a dog collar, so they are very careful about this sort of thing. I remember once being in a pub in Cavan where the strippergram for a lady's 50th birthday was dress up as a priest and he was unable to do his act because everyone form up an orderly queue outside the men's toilets and take it in turns one by one to go in there and try to confess to him. That is how powerful the dog collar is.

At least I think they were going in there to confess to him. Anyways, he was lynched afterwards by a group of local farmers, I espect for bearing his false witness. Serve him right.

Thus anyone who has any sense will see this story on CNN and recognise what this mean. It mean that the False Pope Bendick is insecure in his position, which also therefore mean that our efforts to unmask him are beginning to work. The organization to which I am belonging (in addition to Real Madrid Fans for Christ as Manager), known only as The Friends of the Real Pope (MySpace page, also in bogroll, right), have been hard at work trying to tell everyone about this conspiracy, that the Real Pope, John Paul #2, is still alive and kept prisoner against his wishes in Castel Gandolfo and that his death was faked by sinister liberal forces who put in place the Usurper Bendick, who pretend to be fascist but is really not at all. As you can see from the picture above, this is a conspiracy that go back hundreds of years, to when Bendick was only a small boy with constipation.

This revelation also help us to identify CNN as enablers; there is clearly someone on the inside of this organ who is an agent of the liberal darkness conspiracy. We must kep a close watch on them and send in one of our own team to smoke him out (is bound to be a him; a lady would not be so devious). For now I send just a message of defiance: We are watching you, CNN!!!

Is Super Spaniard!

Eat This, Mister Federal!

Did you watch all of the Wimberdon final on Sunday? No, neither did I, but wasn't it absolutely riveting?! I could not take my eyes off all the backhanders, forehanders, serveces, volleys, drop shots and blobs. Was really great entertaining.

And in the end of course we had the best winner, as you see in the photo above, Señor Raphael Nadal, of España!! Si, was an espanish man win on the stupid grass pitch! Was really incredible. Especially since he was playing the five-time reigning champiot, Clyde Federal, of Sweden (known in tennis circles as the Cyborg, because of his resemblance to the other Swede, Bjorn Ulvaeus of Abba). Is an impressive feat for a humble espanish man who spend all his life playing on mud courts to come to lovely pissing England with all its green, and to make them all look like wankers. Where is your ugly Andy Murray now, Margaret Thatcher?! He took one hell of a beasting!

We should not get carry away, of course, by this ritual humiliation of the foreigners. For one thing, even though Nadal is espanish, we should not forget that he is also a Catalan, and therefore perhaps not the most appropriate person to be representing our country abroad. Was pointed out to me that Nadal is a fan of Real Madrid Best Team in the World, which suggest to me that he is doing his poor best to intergrate into proper society, but I am sure you will agree with me that it was holy inappropriate for him at the end of the match to make advances up to the royal box and to kiss Prince Felipe and goose Princess Letizia with his racket. Not only that, but also he made the major faux pas of going first of all up to the section where his parents and his coach was sitting. Imagine snubbing the royal family like that! Only a Majorcan country pumpkin could be lacking in such basic proctoscope.

Another cause for concern is that Nadal has chosen lawn tennis as the medium through which he will represent our nation to the world. As you know, tennis is a sport notorious for its homosexuality. If you are not a homosexual when you start playing the game (and let's be honest, most of them are), you will certainly be homosexual by the time you finish it. Madrid itself is full of rampant lady lesbians who like nothing better than to get their hands on a nice long firm shaft and a couple of hairy balls and spend an hour or two stroking them around the place until they have given their partner a good licking. I know. I have seen them!

You just have to look at Nadal's lithe physicque and shiny long hair to realize it is only a matter of time before he become a big gay icon. All the gayers are well known for their love of muscles, and even though Nadal is not the prettiest of men, I have read already on respectable American tennis sites that many homosexuals in America are fantasizing about him being their Latino poolboy, serving cocktails to them in a short towel and rubbing suntan oil all over their anuses. Is that any way for Spain to be depicted abroad?! I think you know the answer. It is Not!

Fortunately, I am happy to say, this summer we still have also the golf, the Formula One, the Tour de France, and the bullfighting, all of which will be won this year by espanish men. And then will come the Olympics, which Spain always win. I will especially be watching the ladies gymnastics this year, and also the beach volleyball. I have a special TV room set up. Will take my mind off the tennis entirely.

Get Down on Your Knees and Rejoice!!

Si, is the former Atlético Madrid moron and now Scouse bastard Fernando Torres, who score the winning goal for Spain last weekend in the esciting final of the Eurovision Football Championships against the rubbish Germans to secure for Spain their first proper international football trophy since the days of el Generalísimo himself. Was a wonderful, wonderful occasion, and all good Spanish people naturally give thanks to God for standing by his Chosen People in the match against the Lutherans, but neverthenonetheless, we are wondering and asking ourselfs, why did it take so long?!

I will tell you esactly why it was. Was because Spain is not having had a strongman dictator who could unify the nation's football team like el Generalísimo was able to do back in 1964, the last time we win. Only now, with the superb genius maniac racist Sergio Aragonés in charge, did the team play as a beautiful, harmonious unit; he even manage to do it while having a black man in the side! (Let us not forget, of course, that el Generalísimo himself had Islamic Moors on his team who played an important role in restoring Christianity to Spain. Is what is known as dramatic irony.)

I think that we can view this great victory for fascism as a metaphor for society as a whole. Is only when Catalans such as Xavi, Fabregas, Puyol, and cetera do what they are told by a Madrileño like Aragonés that they are capable of achieving any real success. Had they been left to their own devices, they would have been speaking their own ridiculous language that no-one else can understand, selling their grandparents into slavery, and shitting by the corner flags. This would of course have made Spain look ridiculous; even the Greeks would have pointed and laughed. United and disciplined under the glorious flag of Spain, however, they can put their wayward character and natural meanness to use for the benefit of the team—and by estension, the country—as a whole; not giving the ball away, kicking opponents while the referee is not looking, and passing the ball to the brilliant though misguided Madrileño Torres so that he can score and take the thoroughly deserved glory.

Is typical of modern-day "democratic" Spain, however, that they have now decide to let Aragonés leave! He is going off to Fenerbahçe, near Leeds, in order to manage a local club team there. It only go to show that there is a feminist atheist communist elite in control of this country who despise sports and everything it stand for: nationalism, virility, unity, self-sacrifice, muscles, kicking things, sexism, conservative social values, irrational hatred of strange people, and so on. They do not want the Spain to be sportingly successful because such success breeds pride, and atheist communists want people not to be proud but to be ashamed to be Spanish. Is a big disgrace.

I have already read in the newspapers that someone name Steve Staunton is being lined up for the manager's job. Fortunately, I read, he has some international esperience, so perhaps I am being too alarmist. Let us wait and see how he performs.