THIS is how to run a country!!

Insult me at your peril!

Si! Is Mohamed el-Hutt, the proud and once-mighty king of Morocco, sat with one of his smoking hookahs, played by Mariah Carrie, American songbird and daughter of Debbie Reynolds and Booby Fischer. His real name, of course, is Mohamed the Sixth, but nobody is allowed to call him that to his face because they have very tight strict laws on things like that in Morocco, which they make up for with really really loose laws on anal sex, Turkish delight, and cannibalism.

But is because of King Mohamed that I am being in a very cheerful and light-hearted disposition this week. Is because of him that I read the hilarious-making news about the young idiot boy in Morocco who was being sent to prison for being a Barcelona fan (is in English here). The idiot boy change the slogan on the blackboard at school from "God, Country, King" to "God, Country, Barcelona" and they make him go to jail! How I laugh! Plus also, is wonderful to see that some countries are still upholing the traditions established by El Generalísimo all those years ago of putting in prison all Barcelona fans. Is only sad that we cannot still do it in Spain today.

Of course, the imprisoning of the idiot boy is probly to do with the estensive twinning that have taken place between Spain and Morocco over the years. Indeed, many of El Generalísimo's best murderers were his Muslamic Moorish soldiers who come over with him from Morocco to save Spain for Christianity in the Spanish Civil War for Golf, even if was under false pretences (although El Generalísimo was leading a cruzada, he tell the Muslamic Moors that he was reconquering Spain from the Infidel and that they would get a chance to slaughter thousands of Christians in revenge for centuries of oppression, the occupation of Jerusalem, Cliff Richard, and so on). Still, as a result, there have always been great friendliness between Morocco and Spain, as esemplified by the present king's retention of the best of El Generalísimo's laws.

Some people are saying that this imprisoning of the idiot boy demonstrate that the king have no sense of humour and that such behaviours are out of place in the 21st century, when everywhere should be democracies and have the freedom of speech and disrespect for authority. This, to me, miss the point entirely, which is that Barcelona supporters should not ever be allowed to exhibit their allegiance in the streets. After all, in Singapore, you cannot spit or chew gum in public, in Austria you are not allowed to be black after dark, and in parts of England it is illegal to defecate in the street, so why should these deviants be any different, allowed to flaunt their disgusting beliefs in front of the eyes of women, children, and respectable property holders? Even in moron America, where they have the ridiculous separation of church and state, they would not tolerate a Satanist going into a classroom, scrawling "Lucifer is Lord" on the blackboard, then esposing his genitals to all the schoolgirls while singing the Star-Spangered Bangle. They would suspend him from all teaching duties straight away!

Besides anyway, is not true that the king is not having a sense of humour. His court, I am told, is full of the juggling dwarves, acrobating midgets, disabled peoples doing magic tricks, funny epileptics, and all manner of esotic animals such as talking parrots, dancing bear, and singing mongkeys. Is must be like Ant & Dec's Saturday Takeaway show all the time. Plus, after a night out down the pub with all his mates, Mohamed get to pull all the birds by waving his wads of cash and shout, "Everbody back to my palace!"

Is a joke!!

There is Only One Iron Man!!!

Eat Your Heart Out, Padre Pio!!

Si, is well-known American actor Tony Danza, who play Robert Stack, aka Iron Man in the new Hollywood blockbuster movie, also, coincidentally, called Iron Man. Once again we see the disgusting blasphemous heresy that happen when Americans get their hands on the story of Jesus and try to make it into a popular form in order to appeal to the ignorant masses, dumbing it down to the common lowest abominator. This Iron Man is clearly Jesus, as you can see, with the stigmata in his hands and feet and chest, and, like Jesus, he is also able to fly. Escept in this new version, he have to wear a magic mitten, like Padre Pio, to use his stigmata power, and the ability to fly is the result of scientific technology, the new religion of Americans that enable them to do things like make the atom bomb, the motor car, and soap. I hope you will not go and see it. I have and it is rubbish. He doesn't even die in the end, like Jesus did.

I mention Iron Man only because there was a report in the BBC last week about another, much better movie about how the real pope, John Paul #2, was able to survive an asssassination attempt in 1982 that was covered up all this time. According to the story:

a deranged priest drew blood when he tried to kill John Paul with a bayonet during a religious ceremony at the Fatima shrine.

Hmm. Is a likely story, I don't not think! For one thing, the idea of a derange priest is a contradiction in terms. There can, by definition, be no such thing. So we know already that this priest was not derange. Also, who is using a bayonet these days to kill anyone? Only Corporal Jones in the English comedy series The Young Ones, who is always saying, "They Don't Half Like It Up Em, Mom!" No. Was much more likely that the priest was carrying a carving knife, like in the Psycho shower scene, in that movie, Porkys. In the video you can even hear him make the noise, going "Eek, eek, eek, eek," as he stab at the real pope.

The real pope's loyal banker and bodyguard, Archbishop Paul Marcinckus, who helped get rid of the communist infiltrator John Paul #1, says in the article:

You can't always believe what you see on television,

Which is very true. When they put Monty Python's Life of Brian on TVE, I could not believe what I was seeing! Also, when they show Barcelona winning Champions League, was clearly a big hoax involving thousands of actors, much like that 9/11 show a few years back.

The real truth behind the story of the assassination attempt is not that it was covered up, but the fact that it was really the tit of the iceberg. During the real pope's reign, there was over 250 assassination attempts made on his life by the followers of the usurper Bendedick, and all of them the real pope escape from, which is why they had to fake his death in the end.

For esample, when the real pope visited Knock, which is just about in Ireland, the tarmac of the airport runway was being deliberately smeared with curare and arsenic, and also Baileys. The followers of the usurper Bendedick knew that the real pope hates to fly, and whenever he get off the plane, he kiss the ground out of gratitude for being back on terra firma again, much like Denis Bergkramp. So they think, "if we make the runway poison," when he kiss it, he will die. Of course, they forget that the real pope is not just the holiest man in the world, but also the wisest, much wiser than that idiot the Dalai Lama who doesn't even have his own country. The real pope had secreted about his person the antidotes to curare, arsenic and Baileys, and as soon as he feel his lips go numb and the room start to spin, he say to himself "I've had too much Baileys," so he run to the bathrom and inject the antidote into his sternum like James Bond and give himself a jump start in the cubicles.

Another time, as I told you here, was when they try to kill him in his sleep by boiling him alive in warm water during a Popmobile ride. This time he was saved by the Swiss Guard with sponges, like in Jeux sans frottieres. This rescue of course have great iconographic significance because, as you remember, during the crucifixion, the Roman centurions was throwing sponges at Jesus to try to knock him off his cross.

The decisions to conceal all the assassination attempts on the real pope John Paul #2 was not taken lightly, but the panjandrums in the Vatican knew what they was doing and did not want to alarm the faithful with news of the massive evil conspiracy to dethrone the rightful heir. I have it on good authority, incidentally, that the real pope himself approved of these decisions and even today, in his prison cell in Castelgandolfo at the age of 88, he still think it was the right idea not to tell anyone.

So, to me there is only one Iron Man. Is not the man in the iron man costume. Is the iron man in the iron mask.

Solidarity, Brothers!

Is too many sheriffs, not enough Indians!!

Did you see the terrible news in the laughing jackal liberal atheist press scoffing at the reports from Brazil about the police brawl in Sao Paulo? Was absolutely terrible! What happen, apparently, was that the plainclothe civil police investigative officers was on strike, and they was been supervised during their protest march by state riot police, when some dastardly ordinary members of the public, deliberately dressed up as plainclothe policemen, played the role of agents provocateurs and try to get through the police lines so they could go to hospital, and in the ensuing melee, police end up fighting against police, ambulancemens was arrested after being called to the scene to take people to hospital, which they couldn't because it meant crossing both the riot police line and the police picket line, and it was not clear which was which, traffic wardens was arrested after putting tickets on water cannons, clampers was beaten severely around the head for putting the clamps on the cannons, police cars, tanks, ambulances, and milkfloats, and firemen scratch their heads and balls and try to figure out where the fire is! Was all utter total chaos.

In addition, the riot police was using tear gas, rubber bullets, and flash-bang-wallop what a pictures to drive back the other police, the plainclothe police was using forensic skills, in-depth interrogation, tailing suspects, bugging the riot polices' phones, and eating donuts, and the agents provocateurs in the crowd was using clever police disguise of wearing a moustache. Was all totally confusing, and when the army come along, they have no idea at all which side they are meant to be on, so they just shoot at anyone.

Is all a sad indictment, I think, of the disarray of the forces of Law and Oorder and CSI: Fridays. Is precisely this lack of co-ordination and solidarity between the various polices that allow a communist atheist like president Lulu the Silver to get into power in the first place. The clear message of this catastrophe to those of us who believe in respect for the authorities, freedom within the law, 5 p.m. curfews for women, and a priest in every home is that it is only when we unite and support one another that we are able to achieve our aims. Otherwise, it will create opportunities for the filthy Bohemians of the new axis of evil (Is the Venezuela-Cuba-Brazil-Bolivia-Ecuador-Argentina-Uruguay-Chile cabal I am refer to, of course) to seize power and waste their countries' resources on housing, sanitation, education and all those things that give the lowly humble masses unrealistic espectations in life.

The next time they have a rally in Sao Paulo, all the police—plainclothe, riot, undercover, overcover, secret, military, and river—must make altogether with one voice the well-known rallying cry that was once so popular throughout all of Latin America:

The Police, United, Will Never Be Defeated!

Our Fish Eat Traitors!!

Is in the news this week that four British naglers have captured and arrested the world's largest catfish, not in Loch Ness or Hyde Park as you might espect, but in the River Ebro not far from Barcelona.

Of course, there is a very good reason why we have the world's biggest catfishes in Spain. Is because the River Ebro is filled with lots of nourishing nutrients, such as potassium, mangnesium, titanium, salt, water, saltwater, cheese, vitamins, sodium peroxide, galena, iridium, byzantium, cardboard, shopping trolleys, and smaller fish. But also is because catfishes is living for a very long time, the lifespan of the average catfish being 195 years, during which time they are very smart and rarely get caught, until they are senile, as this one obviously was, since it was outsmarted by 4 englishmen.

Being so old, this catfish have been able to take advantage of the particular natural advantages of its environment that have make it especialy furtile. Thanks to the battle of the River Ebro during the Spanish Civil War for Golf, thousands of traitors to Spain, foreign Communist atheists, and Jews with no sense of direction managed to fertilize the soil of the nation with their blood. This was not their intention, of course: Only proud nationalists try to fertilize the soil of Spain with their blood, dying a glorious and escruciatingly painful death surrounded by their whimpering proud comrades. Neverthenonetheless, even though foreign cosmopolitan blood is inferior in quality to Spanish blood, thanks to the sheer numbers of traitors killed at the Ebro, the river was made especially fruitful and a perfect place in which for catfish to develop their bloodlust and taste for human flesh. Indeed, even as this picture was being taken, there was a school of man-eatings catfish on their way to devour the four idiot yorkshiremen who are standing in the river while holding one of the school's members prisoner. Would not be surprise me if he was liberated pretty quickly. Catfish have a very long memory, much longer than englishmen. Five minutes or so. Will be just like the last time the guts of an Englishman was being spilt in the Ebro, in 1938.

The catfishes is saying to themselves, "Hooray! Is just like the good old days!!" and "Pass the mustard, George!"

But they will be sick in the morning. The English don't not agree with anyone.