Pwnaldo!!

I am a broke man!!

You are all must be enjoying the World Cup as much as I am. This have especially been a fantastic World Cup for all the Ireland football supporters, much better than if their team was being there. They have been esperienceing unadulteried pleasure at watching France crash and burn, and then drown before being hanged drawn and quartled. Although is only now the French government is demanding to know how come the manager and the team could bring the country into such disrepute. Is a question they should have been asking after the match against Ireland in the qualifiers!

Also for the Ireland fans has been the joy of seeing their former colonial masterds England being humiliate by the Germans again. And not even an Aryan master race German team but a bunch of Turks, midgets, circus freaks, and clowns. The only proud Aryan amongs them was the mighty Sebastian Schicklegruber. The rest was half-breeds, and they STILL spank the English arses.

I too have been supporting the proxy Irish teams, but most of my arousal has been at the performances so far of the Spain, who once again showed that they own Portugal, not just historically and geographically but, more importantly, morally, as proved on the football pitch the other night. Indeed, the best that Portugal have to offer were soundly put in their place, and, as if to demonstrate our complete dominance, Real Madrid has also bought Portugal's best sports esports, namely Cronaldo and Jose Mourinho. As long as they can acculturate themselves to the civilized life of Madrid, they will undoubtedly flourish to the best of their limited ability. Is a shame only that Real cough up so much money for Cronaldo, since it turn out after the match that he say he is a broke man. If we had known that beforehand we could have pick him up for 50 bob a week and a jar of peanut butter, which is what they eat in Portugal. And sardines. Is no wonder he is spitting all the time!

The Spain victory and the Germany victory were also important for a greater, pan-European reason, however. And that is because both of the teams was sponsored by Adidas, the multinational corporate sweatshop employer of choice for all correct-thinking Europeans. Adidas is a proud German manufacturer with a long tradition of making football things. Whereas Nike is a decadent corrupt American chancer who have historically had nothing to do with either football or Europe escept when bombing it. Nike is a johnny come afterwards who, let us not forget, was try before the last World Cup to sign the German team away from Adidas with an offer of billions of dollars and membership of the Skull and Bones club (the Germans sensibly pointed out that they already had one). Nike have also spent $666 million on marketing for this World Cup. That figure alone should make you suspicious.

Spain against Portugal was a match which pit Adidas (good) against Nike (evil), and the England versus Germany match was pit Umbro (owned sneakily by Nike [evil]) against Adidas (good [again]). It is imperative that Europe does not let football get taken out of its hands by the Americans. Here are the Adidas teams for you to support: Germany, Spain, Argentina, Paraguay. Here are the Nike teams for you to boo: Brazil, Netherlands. The match on Friday between Netherlands and Brazil will see all good Europeans booing both teams. Sept Blatter, who have done up til now a very good job of fixing everything for the Germans and Spanish to win, may have done an oversight here, and also in the other match, between Uruguay and Ghana, both of which is sponsored by Puma. While this is mean at least one non-Adidas team is guarantee to go out, it also is mean that one goes through. Thus we will have two non-Adidas teams in the semi-finals. Is a big disgrace!

For Paraguay v Spain you must cheer Spain but not boo too much the Paraguay. And for Germany v Argentina it doesn't matter. Most of them all have relations in the other country anyway.



Does anyone know the best way to get Portuguese spit out of a living room carpet?

Is an International Outrage!

For How Much Longer Will We See Images like This?!

I am sure you were both horrified, like me, to read in the newspapers this week about the disgusting debate in the Catalan parliament to ban bull-fighting forever in that region of Spain. Those of us with any sense of history or appreciation of cultural identity will realize what a disgraceful attack this is, not just on a people's sense of nationshood and therefore natural justice, but also on Mother Nature herself, over whom God have given us dominion in the confidence that we will custode it wisely and with a proper and appropriate respect for its rules (kill or be killed, dog-eat-dog, Man is wolf to Man, wolf is man to wolf, you can lead a whore to water, many hands make light aircraft, and cetera).

If history is teach us anything, it is that the majority of the world's species alive today would not be alive were it not for the fact that they serve some purpose to humanity. The Dodo, for instance, is a prime esample. Once it had serve its purpose to mankind, in providing food, then it become estinct. Ecologists, sociologists, theologists, and macrobiotics are all unanimal on this: There would be no cows or pigs or sheeps on this planet, were it not for mankind husbanding them, wifing them, then killing and eating them. Is because mankind have a vested interest in their perpetuance that they are still around, whereas other animals that are not so tasty, such as the unicorn, are long gone. Why are you think Noah did not bother putting it in the ark? Because they are taste like shit! (And also because their horn could make significant damage beneath the water line if they broke loose and went on an escapade). Imagine what the world would be like with no cows, pigs and sheeps. It would be less smelly, certainly, and we could have a much better road and rail infrastructure once we had concrete over all those fields, but on the other hand, you would not have no hat. Nor sandals. Both of which are made from cow. You would have no bacon sarnies, no electricity, no pork scratching, and girls would have no pigtails, because they are all made from pig. And there would be no sheeps.

In similar, if you are to ban the corrida, you will be in ultimate saying goodbye to the bull. Not, however, in this case because the bull will estinctify. No! Let us be honest. Throughout all time, we have know that the bull is mankind's natural enemy, after the Jew and the Muslim, that there is always been a danger in keeping sustained the bull population. But that was always the price we pay for the corrida. The bull is an estremely fierce and proud and big-balled beast. He lives for the corrida, for the opportunity to do battle with Man, to chase around the sawdust a multicolour curtain and diminutive hero with sword and lances and things. There is nothing finer, more noble, for the bull than to compete in the corrida, to choke slowly on its own lifeblood knowing that it have given everything in a carnal, cathartic orgy of agony, lust, muscles, meat, power, yearning, thrusting, and an object lesson in mortality in front of a crowd of appreciative Spanish aesthetes.

Escuse me, I must just go to the bathroom a minute.

Sorry about that. The sweat on my mouse was make it difficult to type. As you can see, I am get very het up when I am think about what we will lose if we allow the filthy Catalans to outlaw this holesome, educative and arousing spectacle from Spanish life. Is to be applauded, therefore, that the vice president of the Community of Madrid, Ignacio Gonzalez, have announced this morning that his government have moved to protect the corrida by declaring the bull an object of cultural importance and Spanish national heritage, so that anyone who tries to ban or hurt bulls is thereby a traitor to Spain. The president of the Community of Madrid, Esperanza Aguirre, have said that bulls are "belong to the Mediterranean and Spanish culture since time immemorial. Goya, Picasso, García Lorca, Hemingway, Orson Welles and recently Pierce Brosnan and Greg Kinnear have handled bulls in such a way as to prove their artistic importance."

In the meantime, I am call upon all people of good conscience and well-meaningness to do whatever they can to impress upon the illegitimate parliament of Catalonia that this debate is an outrage and that the bull must be protect at all costs. Lobby your own governments to impose sanctions on Catalonia. Protest outside your local Catalan embassy and/or consulate and/or restaurant. And above all, refuse to handle any Catalan produce, mugs, women and boycott all travel companies, airlines, flotillas, pedaloes, and supermarkets which are facilitate the continued survival and economic self-sufficiency of this illegitmal and law-flouting state, until it decide conclusively that bulls have every right to exist and continue to meet their heroic and glorious demise at the hands of a noble toreador, just as he have for millions and millions of years, if the Bible is correct, which it is.

You are KNOW it make sense!


Besos


Manuel