Caution: Devil at Work!!

The Usurper Bendedict: Don't worry, is just a bit of wind, queen.
Queen: Si, but I think I may have follow through, usurper.

The usurper Bendedict is on the fake papal visit to Britain this week in an attempt to butter up the Queen and Prince Phillips and divert attention away from sundry ill-doings and goings-on at the Vatican. I espect that while everyone is looking the other way, over there, at England, Vatican malefactors are secretly smuggling the Real Pope John Paul Mark Two out of his prison cell in the dungeons and moving him to a secure location while the health and safety people pay a visit. If you have not been read the papers recently, this has become all necessary following the revelations by the Vatican's chief esorcist last week that the Devil himself is working in the Vatican. Father Gabriele Amorth, who, coincidentally, has a book out, said in the paper this week that Satan actually is paying rent to the Vatican for lodging there, which has come as a total shock but not complete surprise to anyone who knows a thing about the Vatican bankers, who will take money off anyone, no questions bothered. Health and Safety presumably are concern because the devil is both living and working in the Vatican, which therefore mean the place has dual use, his residence serving as a workplace. They will have to make sure that there are safe stairs, electricity, air, a fridge, and toilet facilities which are all up to scratch and nobody can fall in or have accidents (such as like the queen in the picture above).

Of course, this is all horsing around after the bolt has stabled. If they had really want to find Satan in the Vatican, they had no need escept to look any further than the end of his noses! For it is precisely the usurper Bendedict who is the best candidate for being the antichrist, so long as you know where to look. This is why he is so keen to hang onto his skulkcap above; underneath you can clearly make out the 666 tattoo he have had on his head since the day he join the Nazi Party (Hitler was member number 555, but the membership numbers started at 500: This is a true lie). People should not be put off and dissuaded by the False Pope's impeccable credentials as a former Nazi, anti-Vatican II, traditionalist, misogynist anti-Semite. This is all just for show. He is what is known in the trades as a long sleeper. This means he lie in bed until lunchtime plotting and scheming and pretend to be who he isn't. That is who he is. And now it is all come to fruition, as the usurper Bendedict has watched over the steady decline of the One True Church into infamy and discredit so that everyone would turn away from God. It is He who have put the lust into the hearts of priests and made all those children look sexy. It is He who have from the start encourage not just the coverups, which in themself was not a bad idea, but who ensure that it was all so incompetently done that they would get find out. It was He who had the Real Pope John Paul Mark Two drugged and hallucinated to make it look like he had died so that Saint Peter's Seat was empty (Seat as in throne, not as in top-notch brand of Spanish car. Saint Peter did not drive: He had a unicycle).

Father Gabriele Amorth is reckon that he has been involve in 70,000 cases of demonic possession during his time as the Vatican head esorcist. This must, I am imagine, include cases of mass possession, such as the crowd at the Nou Camp. Otherwise he would have been doing, in my estimation, 300 casting outs a day, and that is just one esorcist. Nonetheless, even if he can't add up, we must trust his espertise in matters pataphysical and theodoxical. If anyone knows what the Devil is look like, it will be him.

In an interview with the Italian newspaper La Repubblica, Father Amorth was saying that Satan is "pure spirit, invisible. But he manifests himself with blasphemies and afflictions in the person he possesses. He can remain hidden, or speak in different languages, transform himself or appear to be agreeable. He can speak Latin and Greek but also Norwegian and Klingon. He can appear as a 5-million-year-old man or a day-old tadpole. He could be that table over there. That microphone you are holding. This Strepsil. He likes to make fun of me. Him and lots of other people."

Si, Satan is a slippery piece of shit alright and, make no mistakes, this is why we haven't not caught him yet. What's more, when the antichrist comes, he will look like the Messiah. That is what John the Elevator tells us in the apocryphal Book of Scaring Children. However, there is always one way to be sure you have identify correctly the Beast, and that is to answer yourself the question "Cui Bono?" Whenever there is some scandal that appears to discredit the Catholic Churuch, or wherever there is some media figure acting like he is the Messiah and bringing heaven to earth, you just need to say to yourself, "Where is Bono?" And if he is there among the middle of the action, hogging the limelights (or even just having a dump in the cherrylights), you can be sure that evil is afoot. Or afeet. Have you ever not notice that we have never not seen the usurper Bendedict and Bono in the same room together? I will let you drawer your own conclusals.

Of course, if U2 perform live during the papal visit, all the above is wrong and it would mean that the hole past 58 years of my life would have been wasted. But somehow, I AM DOUBT IT VERY MUCH.

If any of my British readers is want by the way to have a go at assassinating the pope, here is his itinerary. Or if you simply want to avoid seeing U2, you can be certain they will not be at these venues. Why not kill two birds with one stone. A big stone. Or failing that, use a gun. No jury on earth will convict you. Just tell them God told you to do it. They will understand completely.

Good luck!!

Romas Go Home!!

Where is My Fire Engine, Thieving Gypsy Lady?!

I am can only give you a roundup of the impressive fascism-on-the-march news this week, since it have all been so busy, but you should all be inspire and motivate by seeing some of the most important people in Europe FINALLY doing some moves to promote the escape goating of foreingers, gypsises, Jews, and freemasons.

The big noise in France this week was the diminutive Nicolas Sarkozy, who have had enough of the Roma encampments, with their ambiguous legality, aggressive marketing, bad news begging, cluttering the place up, making people uncomfortable in the street, and wearing burqas. Also for robbing from foreing tourists, thereby taking work from Paris's bars, bistros and hotels.

After a young Roma was shot in the street in warm blood by a gendarme recently, generations of French-born Romas was involved in rioting for several days, which prompted Sarkozy to announce that French nationality would be strip from people "of foreing origin" who make life-threatening attacks on the police, such as the Roma boy who was shot dead in his life-threatening attack, and all the other French-born foreingers. Oddly, the Catholic Church is out of step on this issue, condemning Sarkozy for his Roma-bashing, but this is presumably because this is a topic where nobody doesn't not give a shit anyway and it can let the church look like it is sidling up with the poor. In any case, Sarkozy's policy is distracting people from the shambles that was the French football team in the World Cup, the decline in the number of cheeses, and also it is the silly season, when all the Parisians decamp to their country homes like a nation of migrants, so the papers have nothing better to write about.

The Romas will not be welcome however back home in Italy, where they come from, I suspec, because Silvio Berlusconi (who you can see above protecting himself from any more flying cathedrals) is now contemplate the offer from Libyan leader Muhammad Gadaffy to stop any more Africans coming into Europe, for the reasonable price of €5 billion a week, no questions ask.

They could almost be brothers!

Gadaffy made a very valid point in his blackmail speech to Italy this week, which went:

"We don't know what will happen, what will be the reaction of the white and Christian Europeans faced with this influx of starving and ignorant Africans. We don't know if Europe will remain an advanced and united continent or if it will be destroyed, as happened with the barbarian invasions."

Which is only go to show that he has not have been here for a while. In order to assuage the starving and ignorant African Gadaffy, Berlusconi was organize for him to make another speech, this time to a room full of beautiful models, which prompt the question, Where on earth would someone like Berlusconi find beautiful models? Anyway, he was hope that it take Gadaffy's mind off the money. Unfortunely, it did. TOO MUCH! Gadaffy was so aroused by his audience of beautiful women that he was unable to contain himselve, and he tell all the ladies they should take their clothes off and put on Muslim dress instead. He then tell them that Islam ought to should be the religion of Europe and he give them free copies of the Koran, but only after he had lecture them for an hour on the freedoms enjoyed by women in Libya. Which is then prompt the question, of course, If all the women in Libya are so free, why do they want to climb into boats and come to Europe? Or is the boats only full of depressed African men who are want to escape a country where women are free? It all make no sense whatsoever. And if Islam is so great, how come its followers are starving and ignorant Africans who are want to come to white Christian Europe? Answer that, idiot Gadaffy.

He might look senile, but he have the mind of a razor blade!

Perhaps they are envying of Europeans for their freedom of speech, in which case, they should stay at home. Freedom of speech is a privilege, not a right, otherwise we would have all sorts of moronic statements in the public realm, and not just sensible comments from the church. Which is make a nice Segway to my final item of this week, the sensible comments made in Germany by Thilo Sarrazin, a member of German's Central Bank, who is have a book out this week called Germany Is Disappearing Up Its Own Hole. Sarrazin has said in previous speechings about Muslims such things as Turks are "conquering Germany in exactly the same way the Kosovars conquered Kosovo: with a higher birth rate" and also that "A large number of Arabs and Turks in Berlin have no productive function other than selling fruit and vegetables" which is probly not the most compelling of criticism, comely as it does from a man who's entire business sector is depend on unearned income. As a consequent of his comments, there was efforts to remove Sarrazin from his post for giving the game away and drawing attention to the parasitic role of banks in society, but he manage to cling on to it, realizing that without it he would be just another idiot drooling in the street about blacks:

"I, like any other employee of the Bundesbank ... have the right to express my opinion," he said, which is in totally correct but was also which draw unwanted attention to the fact that the rest of Germans do not have that right. Because they are nobodies.

This week, Sarrazin is in trouble for making the perfectly inoffensive observation that Basques and Jews all have the same genes. Which would esplain a hell of a lot. Both Basques and Jews have for a long time insist on the specificityness of their own culture and language and food and music and hats. So this is not such a controversial statement as it was at first appear. See how much already they have in common! Even though they may have what in superficial look like different languages and culture and food and music and hats, they are nevertheless identical in insisting on their specificityness. Is true! And just consider, that it is take a banker, interestingly, to spot this. And not just any old banker. A banker who has a book coming out. Who was it said fascists cannot write?!

I am hope that you will be going out this week and buy Thilo Sarazzin's important book. I have read already the humourous comments on the Internet that people are moving Tony Blair's new autobiography into the Crime Section of their bookstores. Perhaps also we should move Sarrazin's book into the Children's Section. Children need to learn that, after priests, the most reliable adults they should look to are the bankers. Trust them and obey!